Think Outside The Piggy Bank

you know you've been unemployed too long when...

Yep, that little book I wrote, and mentioned two posts ago, is now part of this blog. Click on Humour Book up in the navigation bar (top right), or over at the left under More Info. Sorry I've been absent. Hope to catch up soon!

the perfect job

I'm thinking about getting a job as a bus driver. The idea of getting paid for telling people where to get off really appeals to me. --MAXINE

Snort. But seriously, I saw an ad in the local paper the other day for a job that excited me. I know, the words job and excited in the same sentence is a rarity for me, but as they say, wonders never cease!

The ad in question reads like this, Writer needs part-time assistant. Typing, internet, research, some marketing. Please fax one page to....

Now the location specified is not close to me, and there's no bus going to that area so technically the job isn't perfect, but to see something like this advertised gave me hope. And I'm going to reply anyway because what do I have to lose? The neat thing too is that I figured out pretty quickly exactly who this writer is (how? by being a smart cookie and doing some research), and I'm pleased to report that this guy is a humour writer! So those who know me well enough will realize why this job is perfect on so many levels. I'm also aware that the chances of getting this job are lessened by the fact that he'll prefer someone with transportation (needing someone to type means he may write in longhand), but at this point I don't even care because the ad made me realize that other writers need assistants too, and that there are possibilities for doing almost all of the tasks he mentioned online.

The other direct benefit is that I looked over some of my own previous writing material last night, and have decided that my short humour book You Know You've Been Unemployed Too Long When... is still darn funny even though written a number of years ago, so I'm going to be posting it on a separate page right on this blog! I mean, why not? Even though never published, it should still be enjoyed and exist right here in my own space.

missing in action?

I'm not sure either! I'll let you know when I know, snort. For now though let me leave you with this:

I feel very rich when I have time to write and very poor when I get a regular paycheck and no time to work at my real work. --NATALIE GOLDBERG

(I completely get what Natalie is saying, even though blogging is my only form of writing these days.)

And this:

What you do instead of your real work is your real work. --ROGER EBERT

What about you? What is your real work?

think outside the blog

Well, not really, LOL, but as I don't have a specific financial topic in mind and am busy getting ready to go back into work mode tomorrow, I thought I'd talk about foot lotion instead. Why? (My foot lotion, by the way, is Avon's 8-hour overnight treatment called Foot Works.) Because as I was putting some on last night the following questions floated through my head:

• if I were to sleep longer (10 hours for example), would this lotion know that it's supposed to work for only the first eight?
• would it actually stop after eight?
• if so, how?
• what if I were to decide to wear it during the day instead?
• would that throw its use before bedtime instructions right off?
• how would it even know whether it's night or day?
• it recommends covering with socks for extra hydration, but wouldn't my greedy socks just steal the lotion right from my feet?
• and what if I was to rebel altogether and decide to put it on my hands instead?

Well folks, that was a quick peek into one blogger's sleepy late-night mind. Scary, huh?