Think Outside The Piggy Bank

curses, curses, CURSES!

I have many many virtues. Well, a few. But patience (specifically patience with computers) is not one of them. I especially do not have patience with browsers that don't load pages quickly enough for my liking, which means that I particularly don't like IE7 (oh how I long for IE6 again!) or Firefox. What it also means is that I've been swearing like the dickens (and we're talking long strings of practically every curse word known to man), which is actually kind of surprising since I generally don't swear much at all. And it occurred to me that if I had to put money into a jar for every time I swore these days, I'd have me a whole pile of cash by now!

Moral of the story other than that I should try Google Chrome? Don't know. Also don't know why my cursing below turned so colourful (I swear I didn't do it), but it seems appropriate somehow. ;)

&*+%$%&*%^#%@#$*&^&*#$#$%

and so a new year begins

May you have a prosperous New Year! I may need to borrow some money. --MAXINE

Ha ha, I'm sure she's only kidding. But can you believe 2010 is here? Hope you've all had a joyful holiday season with no need to borrow, then or now. Sorry I haven't been around much. Will explain later. Or not. ;)

think inside the mouse

So I nearly killed my mouse the other day. No, not that kind of mouse (I'm vegan after all), but the mechanical one that you probably have your own hand on right now. It had been giving me trouble lately and I could barely get it to point to where I needed it to go. Even dragging was well, a drag, as it would only drag down and to one side. Finally I got so frustrated that in a fit of computer rage (yelling, "Bad, bad mouse!" -- as if that would really help) I slammed it several times on its pad (because you know, I couldn't throw it against the wall like I really wanted to do), when I remembered that I should probably just clean it. That, as you likely know, involves removing the ball inside and scraping the little bars with your fingernail of any dirt. Unfortunately that didn't do the trick, so I sadly pronounced the mouse dead and had my unofficial computer tech give me another one. But before attaching the new mouse I decided to open her up (note: vegans are officially opposed to opening up real mice, snort) and compared her to the old one. Sure enough I discovered that I'd overlooked the little white wheel and after cleaning that as well (a pesky job I admit), the old mouse glided across her pad like a graceful young figure skater and was as good as new.

The moral of this mouse tale? Computer mice get dirty on the inside real quick, and even though they're inexpensive to replace, a bit of elbow grease will get them squeaky-clean in no time and save you both a bit of money and a whole bunch of frustration to boot.

Dr. Seuss -- I love my job!

Have posted this poem elsewhere before, but always get a chuckle rereading it, so thought I'd share it here. And I wonder how many people actually DO love their jobs. I'm sure we've all heard the stats on how many people hate their jobs, which, considering how many hours they consume, is really sad. But what would a job worthy of loving look like anyway? Interesting and challenging but not unduly stressful, compensated fairly, and good people to work both with, and for. Hmmm, I've had some of these elements in all jobs, but not all elements in even one job. Too much to ask? Ah, one of these days I'll figure out what work would suit me best. Unless I hit retirement age first, snort.

How about you? Have you ever had paid work that you loved? Or figured out what elements you need in order to love a job? Or is loving your job a luxury these days that most people just can't afford? What do you think?

you know you've been unemployed too long when...

Yep, that little book I wrote, and mentioned two posts ago, is now part of this blog. Click on Humour Book up in the navigation bar (top right), or over at the left under More Info. Sorry I've been absent. Hope to catch up soon!

the perfect job

I'm thinking about getting a job as a bus driver. The idea of getting paid for telling people where to get off really appeals to me. --MAXINE

Snort. But seriously, I saw an ad in the local paper the other day for a job that excited me. I know, the words job and excited in the same sentence is a rarity for me, but as they say, wonders never cease!

The ad in question reads like this, Writer needs part-time assistant. Typing, internet, research, some marketing. Please fax one page to....

Now the location specified is not close to me, and there's no bus going to that area so technically the job isn't perfect, but to see something like this advertised gave me hope. And I'm going to reply anyway because what do I have to lose? The neat thing too is that I figured out pretty quickly exactly who this writer is (how? by being a smart cookie and doing some research), and I'm pleased to report that this guy is a humour writer! So those who know me well enough will realize why this job is perfect on so many levels. I'm also aware that the chances of getting this job are lessened by the fact that he'll prefer someone with transportation (needing someone to type means he may write in longhand), but at this point I don't even care because the ad made me realize that other writers need assistants too, and that there are possibilities for doing almost all of the tasks he mentioned online.

The other direct benefit is that I looked over some of my own previous writing material last night, and have decided that my short humour book You Know You've Been Unemployed Too Long When... is still darn funny even though written a number of years ago, so I'm going to be posting it on a separate page right on this blog! I mean, why not? Even though never published, it should still be enjoyed and exist right here in my own space.

money quirk #1

Like many of you (well, at least SOME of you), I have my fair share of quirks. And because I'm fascinated with everything money (except perhaps for earning it -- that is more of a duty than a fascination, snort), my quirks also extend to the financial realm, so I thought that over time I'd share a few.

One of my money quirks is that I like my bills crispy. As in smooth, flat, new, without any wrinkles or creases. (Yes, I have seriously considered ironing, but luckily, I don't have an iron.) Trouble is, you rarely get those deliciously pristine bills, and even when you do, it's not as if you keep them for long. And why it makes a difference to me I'm not even sure, but I'm always disappointed when crumpled, crinkly bills are handed over. Still, it's not like I can ask, "Um, can I have mine crisp please?" when dealing with a clerk. Or can I? ;)

hot, hot, hot!

   

Although I'm not really complaining because it's only THIS week that the heat and humidity has begun. The summer has been far harsher in other places, and given that September is only two weeks away (what a scary thought!), I'm certainly not going to bother installing the air conditioner now. I don't have to pay for hydro myself, but I imagine that people here in Ontario have saved themselves oodles of dollars the past couple of months by not having to run the air most of the time.

Now excuse me if you will while I soak my feet in cold water and um, take off a few things. :)

speaking of light...

Ha ha. Actually, I really AM in the dark most of the time. I abhor artificial light during the day, and even though I'll have a lamp on in the evening for certain tasks (like reading), I find that the cozy glow of the screen is all I need when I'm on the computer. Strange as I crave natural light most of the time (one can never have enough windows!) and get cranky without it, but seem to have little need to illuminate my place once the sun sets.

Monday's money question 5

What's the most ridiculous time-saving feature you've run across?

For a while, pre-cut cheese topped my list, as I couldn't figure out why anyone would pay Kraft an extra dollar for this questionable service. "We cut the cheese, so you don't have to." Um, hello? For a few seconds worth of time I'll cut my own cheese thank you very much. Well, not since I turned vegan, but you know what I mean.

Now there's something else topping the list that really made me shake my head. I swear I'm not making this up, but Canadian Tire sells slippers that dust while you walk. Yes, dust! Touted as a comfortable way to dust, these slippers have special bottoms that attract and hold debris. Can you imagine? First--no, never mind, there are just so many things wrong with this scenario that I'm not even going to start, snort. Now excuse me while I go shake my head some more.