moneymoon: marriage and money

After the Honeymoon comes the "Moneymoon".

This phrase was part of an ad I saw for a marriage and money seminar held by a local church last month. I didn't go, in part because I'm marriage-phobic, LOL, and because I hope I already have the common-sense approach to money matters that they promised. But I wish I had as I think it would have been interesting, and I'm curious as to what they advocated.

I'm assuming of course that they talked about the need for planning, budgeting, saving, avoiding or reducing debt, and how to distinguish between needs and wants. They probably covered the importance of talking about money (which can sometimes be even more awkward than talking about sex), and the difficulty that arises when one party is more of a "saver" and the other more of a "spender". Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, and no wonder as it's often much more than just about money itself.

I'm hoping though that what they particularly stressed is the importance of women having access to their own account even if married. While I imagine that few contemporary relationships are still based on the sexist model of men being in charge of the finances, I'm sure that they still exist, and that's pretty scary. All women in any type of relationship need to have access to their own credit card, personal and joint accounts, bills, and knowledge of all financial and legal issues that pertain to the couple. Anything else is an invitation to a control and power imbalance, and potential financial abuse.

Comments

[Krissa]

At the risk of beginning to sound very anti-church with the comments I've left on your blogs lately I have to say that if it was a church seminar, I doubt they were advocating women having access to their own accounts. I think money is probably the biggest source of friction for most couples. Well, unless there's infidelity going on. And you nailed it with the "spender" and "saver" comparison. Even if both people in a couple are "savers" or "spenders" there's still always something about money to get in an argument over. ... I've never seen the show with these two "John and Kate", but it's all over the internet so I vaguely know it's a reality show about a couple and their kids. I read a headline yesterday that the husband took all the money out of their joint account. (publicity stunt, anyone?). But this highlights in a roundabout way what you wrote about women needing their own account. Course, it depends on what kind of person the man is. Lots of men wouldn't do something like that. Or just plain people in general. Hopefully most people wouldn't do that to their significant other.

[have gone vegan]

It wasn't really clear whether it was a church seminar per se, or just held there. But yeah, I think it would have been even more interesting to hear their perspective if it indeed had been church-sponsored.

I think one of the major reasons I'm so fascinated by money though is that in a way it's still really taboo, and is more about control and power than anything else. Okay, I feel a post bubbling up, so I had better save my ideas for that, rather than putting them here. ;)

[krissa]

I'll save my ideas too in case they are similar to what you are going to post. Because reading your comment above gave me some ideas, too. :)